Loser Mechanic

The Top Signs Your Mechanic Is Losing It

That photo of a naked A.J. Foyt on his wall.
You catch him in his office making auto noises and "shifting gears", if you know what I mean.
Replaces your fan belt with a pair of bikini underwear.
Embroidered "Mr. Bad-Ass Wrench" on his shirt.
Hose from air pump leads into his coveralls.
Keeps asking if you're sure you don't want a "lube job."
Still doing work for OJ and expecting to get paid.
Eats Go-Jo off finger as if it were peanut butter.
Giggles uncontrollably whenever anyone says, "lug nuts."
"Huh huh, he said 'dipstick'. Huh huh, huh huh."
Keeps asking you if you've seen that episode of Gilligan's Island where they almost get rescued, but Gilligan screws it up in the end.
Believes your Hyundai is possessed by the spirit of Kim Il Sung.
Replaces diagnostic computer with Magic 8 Ball.
Urinates on your tire and says, "Just marking my turf."
Rewires the cruise control to the radio so that the faster the music, the faster your car goes.
Owns no wrenches, but complete set of every size monkey.
Looks suspiciously like Joe Piscopo. Wait a minute -- He *IS* Joe Piscopo!
and the #1 Sign Your Mechanic Is Losing It...
Won't stop humming "The Wheels on the Bus Go 'Round and Round."

updated 04/08/06